2 Giant Lessons to Learn from Celebrity Deaths

Celebrity deaths give us a jolt. It doesn’t matter who they are and how they became famous and what genre of the Arts they belong to; every loss touches a core in our soul.

Celebrity deaths, death, children, fragile, life

Don't underestimate your mortality

When celebrities are alive, they are labelled fairly and unfairly by the media but, when they die, those labels fizzle out and we  are catapulted into the realisation of the fragility of life and how we are all, all of us, mere mortals.

 

Yet, when they are alive, we are so quick to point fingers, place blame and ridicule them when we believe that our lives are so different and so separate from theirs. But, when a celebrity dies, somehow in their death, they suddenly become equals and mortal and as human as we are and, not from a world that is so different from ours.

In dying, we are taken aback and catapulted into the realisation that celebrities are as mortal and human as we are and no matter how wealthy, how ethereal, how talented; they too can die and, suddenly too.

So what does this mean? What can we learn from this?

Whether you follow the lives of celebrities or not, we all somehow get to hear about their passing one way or another.  Those celebrity deaths that resonate with us, impact our lives for that moment and in that moment, we become one with them; we empathize with their families and friends and colleagues because we all understand loss in every sense of the word.

Lesson 1:  Don’t underestimate your mortality and don’t take life for granted.

Mortality, celebrity, death,

When we go we leave behind loved ones

It is your responsibility to take the fragility of life more seriously because, we aren’t going to live forever and when we die we leave behind loved ones; friends, family and children and so do celebrities.

Therefore, whilst alive, we must try to live in a way that we give more, say more, do more and treat people better because, you never know whom you will lose next or if you are next.

Celebrities share their gifts with us whether it is bringing the life of a character into our homes on TV or through  dance in theaters,  on film, or through their paintings, voices and music.

It is your duty that, anytime you hear about a celebrity death, you take that moment to reflect on your life and let it be the beginning or continuation in reaching out and acknowledging those around you and celebrating their lives as well as your own.

Begin by simply doing and saying things you should but normally wouldn’t  or, doing favours for people because you know you can and because, no one should take anyone’s mortality and life for granted including your own.

I lost my mother on March 17th 2011 and no one could have told me that my very healthy, very alive, loving, kind, vivacious, young at heart, beautiful, giving mother would not live another year.  She was the celebrity in my life and by that, I mean that I looked up to her, I admired her and learnt so much from her. She was also very well known for her big heart.

I couldn’t go anywhere with my mummy without someone; adult, child or teenager, or street kid calling her name or stopping to talk to her.  And, she always had something to give to them whether it was clothing, food, kind words, great advice.  The point is, she gave of herself selflessly and she was no pushover either!

So, don’t wait until it is too late to do something nice for someone else and for you. You are also as important as the next person and you need to live in a way that you too can celebrate your life everyday. Celebrating your life means taking care of your mind, your body and soul; your overall wellness.

 Lesson 2: You too have gifts worth sharing

Look around you and not too far; there are celebrities in your life and you needn’t have to read about them in the papers or hear about them on TV or on the Internet because, a celebrity is just someone who is well known and celebrated.

To put it in lay-man terms, it is someone who stands-out in your universe from the courteous dispatcher who is known by everyone in the firm including the clients because he delivers good service; to the chief in the village who works hard for his community, to the cousin who takes care of all family matters. They too are celebrities in their universe.

So, take time out of your busy day and share the gifts you possess and become a celebrity in your community. Gifts are things we do selflessly  because we can. It is about being able and making time to read a bedtime story, peel an orange for someone else without them having to ask you; giving up your seat for someone older or younger on the bus.

It isn’t about the big things because; in the eyes and heart of the receiver you will be celebrated. This is what I term ‘celebritism’. It is being well known not because you are in the media but because you reach out to people in your universe and help them and give of yourself and let them know that you care, that you are there when they need you, always (but not foolishly so, to where it cripples you).

I know that in my life, it is the friend who comes over with a cooked meal for my dad because they know that my mum isn’t around to do so; something she did with love and enjoyed doing.

When you give of yourself you will find that you and the people close to you benefit tremendously and those you share your gifts or give love to, return it a thousand-fold, many times over even when you’ve passed on.

So, the next time you are accosted by media headlines about a celebrity death, even those you never knew or heard about, see it as a celebration of your life and theirs and a reminder of your mortally.

Take that moment to inhale, reflect and realign your journey to one that will reap results today and tomorrow, for the benefit of those close to you even long after you are gone.

celebrity, death, mortality, lessons Learnt

Celebrate your life and the lives around you

 

 

 

 

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Mulberries and Gladioli

Mulberries and Gladioli

Mulberries and Gladioli

Who would have thought the two would be found together, entangled in an oasis in the Kgalagadi[1] desert?

Well, it’s akin to my Trinidadian mother from the West Indies marrying my father, a West African man from Ghana having met in Bellevue Hospital in New York City in the Summer of 1951, she a student nurse at Bellevue Hospital and he a student at Colombia University.

I believe that these are the sorts of things that make strong unions.  As different as we may seem, we always have a common denominator or similarities that bring us together in the canniest of ways. Sometimes we wonder why some people seem to have the perfect union whilst so many others fail.

We fail to realise that we are continuously evolving and as this happens, change is inevitable and who we are today may change tomorrow.  Sometimes this change is good for those who can handle it and other times not. Life just comes along and dishes out whatever is on the menu and many times it may not be what we had anticipated.

So, when I look at my mother’s gladiolus entwined in the mulberry bush I wonder how this happened. Yes, I know about cross-pollination but look how tall the gladiolus has grown; in trying to reach the sunshine above, it stretched itself to peak out through the mulberry bush and continues to extend itself.

All the Gladiolus did was make a plan for a better situation and stretched itself until it found an opening in the mulberry bush and now sits happily, sunrays on it face, rainwater on it’s petals looking like a cheeky beautiful beauty letting the world know she too can exist outside of her normal habitat.

My mother adapted to the African culture, one very different from hers far away from her own family; an only child and created her own family far across continents. Sometimes we need to be resilient, we need to try, we need not to give up and create our own universe outside the familiar.

Be a gladiolus amongst the mulberries and survive, blossom in places where you are least expected to. Try something new and learn more about another culture, take your time and don’t be hasty. I marvel at my mother’s tenacity and her love for life and people, her friends and those dearest to her heart, especially us, her family.  I wish we could all be like her.

We achieve more when we open ourselves up to change and challenges no matter what and it is where we find our true strength and, in doing so, we become resourceful and we begin to see different ways of doing things and, like the gladiolus your strength and resilience will shine through.

Adaptation, tenacity, perseverance and confidence

Adaptation, tenacity, perseverance and confidence

Essentially the gladiolus is exemplary of tenacity as delicate and as fragile as it may seem on its own, it was clever enough to know that to survive and to enjoy the sun and rain and flourish, it could just grow through the mulberry bush, find an opening and survive and ultimately what this did was make it more noticeable. How did this beautiful exotic and gentle flower fight its way so elegantly through to the top?

Then again, the mulberry bush allowed it to do so. You never know who around  you is willing to help and support you outside your norm or habitat or comfort zone. The mulberry was supportive enough to allow the gladiolus to stay and with the gentleness of its leaves and branches coaxed and guided and made way for the gladiola to rise above and find its niche within its wilderness.

The moral of my story is to not despair when faced with unfamiliarity because, you are already equipped with the skills and abilities to help you through and there will always be friends, family and strangers to help you along the way and if you don’t have any of that, you still can win. It is about perseverance, tenacity, confidence and survival instincts. You will know what to do when you are faced with tough, unfamiliar situations.

And, the key is, knowing that you can do it and win!

 

 


[1] Kgalagadi desert: Also known as the Kalahari Desert, is the semi-arid, sandy terrain that dominates the Southern African region.

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A Simple Self-Analysis Using Chocolate Bars And Gourmet Coffee

I am a confessed chocoholic and because of this love of chocolates, I took a course to become a Professional Chocolatier.

As I experimented with chocolate, trying out different ingredients to eventually formulate my own recipes, I completely stopped purchasing and eating all other chocolates because, I felt since I was a Chocolatier, I should only be eating my own creations. However, this didn’t last for long because, my love for experimenting couldn’t handle the chocolate hiatus.

I am an experimenter, I like to try new things and love the challenge of the research and, with tastes buds that are non-discriminatory when it comes to chocolate, I needed to continue my exploration of this epicurean pleasure.

Whatever the case, I love chocolate from the dark, hard snap of Ghana’s Golden Tree’s almost 100% cocoa chocolate bars to Lindts’s melt in your mouth cocoa-buttery truffles to the bittersweet Brazilian types.

My love of chocolate is uninhibited, ranging from the more commercial larger brands to the much sort after gourmet brands to the family boutique chocolate brands tucked away on the side corner of a street.

My chocolate cravings do change from time to time but what remains

Gourmet Chocolates

consistent is the fact that I love chocolate with a crunch. Don’t give me a squishy raisin-filled chocolate or a plain milk truffle with a caramel centre; I’ll savour it but not with gusto.

In the last two months I have been eating a combination of three different types of chocolate of the same commercial brand, Cadbury’s Mint Crisp, Biscuit and Hazelnut bars. I take a square of each and savour and suck them together until the chocolate disappears then, I crunch the mint, hazelnut and biscuit all together; simply delicious and decadent.

The same goes for my filtered coffee, I love my aromatic, dark Kenyan types and powdery smooth Brazilian, plain or flavoured.  Here again, there must be some diversity from a strong, dark, hazelnut and vanilla cup to a skinny cappuccino or creamy latte to a single espresso particularly after a filling gourmet meal or a milky Chai (yes I love tea too).

Gourmet Coffee

As I ate my Cadbury combo the other day, I deduced that what I eat, particularly the things I love, like chocolate and coffee are indicative of my personality type.

Although my preference in chocolates is for milk chocolate, it can never be plain. There has to be some other ingredient to enhance it.  Although I love my chocolate combos, I do eat them separately.

So, what does this say about me? I think it means I like a bit of spontaneity and variety, that I love to experiment and somewhat a risk taker. However, at my core, I like consistency, reliability, and stability just like my milk chocolate base.

I am not a brand-loyal chocoholic and because I am experimental, I am always looking to try something new in chocolate; some pimento, herbs, toffee anything for a new experience and then after some experimentation I still resort to my commercial brands which I see as comfort foods; basic, no frills and always there (reliable), tried and tested.

I think this means that I am down to earth, solid, reliable and eclectic, akin to my nuts, mint and biscuit combo or any other quirky combos.

Just like my chocolates, I am also experimental with food. I would be the one to try the alligator on the menu because eating out for me is about new experiences and experimentation.

Yes, I am the one who enjoys savoury and sweet combos, exotic flavours and fusion foods yet, I still love home-cooked meals especially my mum’s combination of Caribbean, West African and American flavours and cuisine and my dad’s more experimental gourmet cuisine.

I think this means that when it comes to life, I enjoy experiencing new things; even my friends are all different and the only thing that brings them together is I (the consistent milk chocolate base).

So the next time you sink your teeth into that juicy Dagwood sandwich, lamb shank or savoury couscous and pawpaw vegan dish, think about what this says about you or about your choice of spouse, soul mate or even your friends?

What do you love to eat and what do you think this says about you?


 

 

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